


Astral Projections and Mutual Affection

by SecretMaker



Series: Tumblr Drabbles 2015 [30]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke has a secret, one he's only ever trusted to two people, one that could get him and everyone he loves killed.<br/>So when the sudden urge to tell the boy he's done nothing but fight against pops up and won't leave him be, Sousuke has a choice to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Get the fuck out of here, Nanase,” Sousuke growled as the tremors wracked his body. Haru gripped one of Sousuke’s hands in both of his own.

 

“I am not leaving you, Sousuke,” he said. Sousuke stilled for just a moment, then ripped his hand out of Haru’s grip.

 

“Please, Haru,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Haru looked evenly into eyes that were growing ever more green and terrified. “You won’t,” he promised, no longer sure who he was convincing. Sousuke gave him one last pleading look, but it was too late for that. Haru took a step back and locked the door behind him, just in time to watch the cycle end.

 

 

 

 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Yamazaki?” Haru snapped, but he did move aside to allow Sousuke into his house. Sousuke shouldered his way past him and plopped down at the table in the living room.

 

“Got any tea?” Sousuke asked. Haru stared at him for a moment, baffled. Before he could fully comprehend what was happening, he found himself moving into the kitchen and filling the kettle. He glared at the wall separating him from the living room even as he gathered the tea set and arranged it on a tray. He brought it out to the living room and set it on the table in front of Sousuke, folding his legs under him and staring. Sousuke poured himself a cup and looked around the room, seeming for all the world as though it were perfectly normal for him to show up on the doorstep of his hated rival and demand tea. Haru watched Sousuke drink in utter silence. Sousuke finished his tea, stood up, and left without a word.

 

Haru sat with himself for a moment, then stood and walked down the stairs to Makoto’s house. He knocked once on the front door, then let himself in.

 

“Ah, Haru-chan!” Makoto said, starting up from his place at the living room table. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

 

“Yamazaki just came over,” Haru said. He moved to sit across from Makoto and grabbed one of the oranges on the table. 

 

“What?” Makoto said. “What happened?”

 

Haru shrugged. “He just drank tea and then left.”

 

“Weird,” Makoto mumbled, turning back to his homework. Haru nodded and set to peeling his orange. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Makoto growing more and more frustrated and Haru laughing internally.

 

“Break time?” he asked, just before Makoto would have thrown his English book across the room.

 

“Yes,” Makoto snarled. Haru smiled at him and stood. He grabbed Makoto by the shoulders and puled him to his feet. 

 

“Come on,” he said. “If you promise not to start any fires, I’ll teach you how to fry an egg.”

 

“I make no promises,” Makoto muttered. Haru snorted under his breath, but checked to make sure the fire extinguisher was in its cradle nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

“I’m thinking of telling Nanase.” Rin dropped his pencil, turned slowly in his desk chair, and stared at his best friend who lay sprawled on the bottom bunk as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

 

“I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a bad idea that is,” Rin said. “Besides, I thought you hated Haru?” Sousuke glanced at him, then went back to staring at the bottom of the top bunk.

 

“I don’t hate him,” Sousuke said. “I don’t even dislike him.”

 

Rin stared. “Okay… But there’s still a big difference between I-don’t-even-dislike-him and I’m-going-to-tel-him-my-deepest-darkest-secret-that-I’ve-only-ever-told-Rin-and-Gou. Where the hell is this coming from?” Sousuke sighed, and something in that sigh had Rin moving to sit beside him on the bed. “Sou, please tell me what’s up. You know I care about you. If it were anything else, I’d tell you there’s no one better than Haru, but this is your life we’re talking about. I don’t want to see what could happen if he overreacts.”

 

“Is it crazy to say that I trust him?” Sousuke said after a moment. Rin watched his face, but his expression gave nothing away.

 

“Can you explain why you trust him?” Rin asked. 

 

Sousuke looked up at him steadily, like he was trying to read Rin. “No,” he said at last. “I just do. It feels like, I don’t know, instinct or something.” Rin nodded, looking down. “Doesn’t mean I trust you any less,” Sousuke added. “That’s why I’m asking you. As one of the only two people who know, can Nanase be trusted with this?” Rin stared long and hard at his friend.

 

“I honestly don’t know,” he said. “Just promise me one thing?” Sousuke nodded. “Don’t tell him right now. The cycle’s over in a few days, and he needs time to prepare if he’s going to be there for one.” Sousuke nodded again, looking away. They both pretended there wasn’t a tone of bitterness to Rin’s voice. “’Sides, we all know your decision making sucks right before your period.” Rin laughed as Sousuke shoved him out of the bed.

 

 

 

That night, Sousuke dreamed of blue eyes and thorns pulling at his skin and a deep, abiding  hunger.  He woke in a cold sweat and shoved a pillow over his face to keep Rin from hearing his sobs and wake up. His skin was tingling, itching for him to get up and  move, but a twinge in his shoulder reminded him just how well that had worked out in the past. He sighed heavily and levered himself out of bed and lay on the floor on his back. Sit-ups. Sit-ups were good. They didn’t put too much strain on any part of his body, and he could do a lot of them and keep going. Hopefully, he mused as he rounded his second hundred, it would be enough to send him back to sleep for at least one more night. He paused to look at Rin’s sleeping form and sighed.

 

It wasn’t fair to do this to Rin anymore, he knew that. Five years apart might have fooled Rin into thinking he could handle Sousuke, but the strain was beginning to show. Rin was losing weight, and the shadows under his eyes that showed up every few weeks took longer and longer to fade. Sousuke needed to find someone else to take care of him, and it would break Rin’s heart. But if it meant keeping the redhead alive, Sousuke was willing to do anything. So he took a deep breath and pulled out his phone to send a text off to Tachibana. He muttered a quiet prayer as it sent, then went back to his sit-ups.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Haru supposed it was not unusual for someone to wake up to a text message. Most people, “normal” people, probably got them all the time. Gou was always on her phone. 

 

It probably wasn’t even unusual that the text was from an unknown number. It could be a prank. It could be an ad. It could be a wrong number. It could be any number of things, really.

 

What made the text unusual, he supposed, was the content.

 

UNKNOWN: [I don’t get to see your eyes very often, but theyre very beautiful.]

 

Haru debated texting back. If it really was a wrong number, that would clear up the situation right away. Then again, if it was a prank, texting back would only encourage the pranksters, and he really didn’t have the energy for that. So in the end he decided to ignore it and take a bath. It really was an excellent philosophy, he decided as he sank up to his eyes in the blissful water.

 

“Haru-chan, I’m coming in!” Haru debated ignoring Makoto’s voice for a moment, then gave up and popped his head out of the tub. “Morning, Haru-chan,” Makoto said, smiling and holding out a hand the way he always did.

 

“Lay off the -chan,” he muttered, though it was half-hearted at best.

 

Makoto chuckled and pulled Haru out of the tub. “We actually have a little time today, so go ahead and make your breakfast,” he said. Haru nodded and padded out of his bathroom, listening to Makoto follow behind, as he always did. Makoto chattered about his plans for the weekend while Haru grilled his mackerel, and the world felt like it had been put back in its proper place. 

 

By the time he and Makoto were on their way to school, Haru had all but forgotten about the morning’s mystery text.

 

 

 

 

Rin had been around Sousuke long enough to know that the end of the Cycle was a dangerous time, even for someone’s best friend. He sighed and rubbed his fingertips against the skin under his eyes as he filled out the paperwork to get himself and Sousuke out of the dorms for a couple of days. He was fast running out of swim team excuses, but there wasn’t much of a choice. He had known about Sousuke’s Cycles since they had started when they were ten, but seven years later he was no better at dealing with them. 

 

The worst part was that Sousuke knew. Rin had been so much better at hiding how hard it was when they were kids, but now they lived in the same room. It was impossible to hide how poorly he was sleeping, how his grades were slipping, how he was eating less the longer they stayed together. And knowing Sousuke, he was already blaming himself and looking for a way to distance himself from Rin.

 

Again.

 

They had tried all this before. As much as Rin had wanted to go to Australia, it had been Sousuke who had found the brochure for the program. It had been Sousuke who had kept his mouth shut and encouraged Rin to go in that silent way of his. Rin had been healthier when they had been apart, but he had been miserable. Rin dropped his pen and let his face rest in his hands.

 

“Damn it, Sousuke,” he whispered.

 

“What did I do this time?” Rin looked up to find Sousuke coming through the door with a towel around his shoulders.

 

“You unplugged my phone again last night,” Rin complained to cover himself. Sousuke glanced at where Rin’s phone was sitting, its 97% charge shining happily from the corner of the screen. He raised an eyebrow, but elected to say nothing. “Did you get any sleep last night?” Sousuke threw himself back on Rin’s bunk with a huff.

 

“Couple hours,” he answered. Rin nodded.

 

“I guess that’s to be expected. Two days, right?” Sousuke nodded. “Okay, I’m almost done with the paperwork. Just let me finish and turn it in, and we can head back to Iwatobi.” Sousuke nodded again and Rin turned back to the paperwork.

 

“I texted Nanase this morning.” Rin dropped his pen again and dropped his head onto his desk.

 

“Why do you hate me, Sou?” he whined. Sousuke chuckled from the bed.

 

“I didn’t say anything,” he replied. “Just flirted with him. I don’t think he even knew it was me.” Rin turned to look at him. Sousuke had a pathetic pout on his face. “He didn’t even respond.” Rin snorted.

 

“Welcome to the fun that is communicating with Nanase Haruka. Makoto’s lucky to get an answer from that guy.” Sousuke looked up at him with so much hope in his eyes that Rin found himself blushing. “Sousuke, can I talk to you about this whole Haru thing?” Sousuke looked away from Rin and was quiet for a moment.

 

“Can we do it after the Cycle?” he mumbled. “I don’t know if it’s real or not.” A sympathetic pang shot through Rin, and he nodded though Sousuke couldn’t see him.

 

“Of course we can, Sou,” he said. Sousuke met his eyes for a moment, and they both turned away quickly. Rin stretched his arms above his head and got back to the paperwork. “Oi, start packing now,” he said without turning around. “I’m not waiting for you when I get done with this.”

 

 

 

“Welcome home, Oniichan, Sousuke-kun!” Gou chirped when she opened the door. 

 

“Hi, Gou,” Sousuke answered her with a smile. He ruffled her hair as he stepped into the house, letting go to give Rin a chance to hug his sister. He walked into the living room and a wave of familiarity and comfort washed over him. The Matsuoka’s house was more familiar than his own, had been since he was a kid. “Is your mom home this month?” he asked the siblings as they came into the room arm-in-arm.

 

“Nah, Mom’s visiting our aunt for the week,” Gou answered. Sousuke sighed in relief. It wasn’t common for Rin and Gou’s mother to be gone from home, and they had had far too many close calls over the years.

 

“I thought that was last week,” Rin said. Gou shot him a cheeky grin.

 

“I may have convinced her I needed the house to have some quality time with a boy,” Gou said. “It’s not entirely untrue, after all” Rin’s face turned an impressive array of colors.

 

“She gives you way too much freedom!” he shouted.

 

“Oniichan, she let you go live in Australia when you were twelve,” she pointed out. Rin huffed.

 

“Still. It’s not right, leaving a little girl like you alone. It’s bad enough she lets you hang around a bunch of guys all the time, this is just ridiculous.” Gou’s face turned as red as her hair.

 

“Oh, you’re one to talk!” she screeched. “You’re gay! You go to an all-boys school, and you’re gay!” Sousuke shook his head fondly at them and left the room before the fight could really get started. He walked through the kitchen and to the back door, where he paused to look across the yard. There, in a back corner, was a large, sturdily-built shed with soundproofed walls and a door that locked from the outside.

 

“You think it’ll be that bad?” Sousuke whirled around to see Gou standing at his shoulder. He shrugged.

 

“It feels like it’ll be stronger this month,” he said. “No sense in taking risks.” Gou huffed and put her hands on her hips.

 

“You know, you didn’t actually hurt me,” she pointed out. Sousuke flinched, just a little.

 

“But I could have,” he whispered. Gou made a soft noise and touched his arm.

 

“Alright, you win,” she said. “Help me grab some blankets, though. If you insist on sleeping in a tool shed, you’re at least going to be comfortable while you do it.” She turned with a flip of her hair and stalked off into the house. Sousuke smiled and followed after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Haru had always felt uneasy during the days around each full moon. It was something he had come to ignore over the years, but every now and then he would remember the stories his grandmother would tell him as a boy.

“There are some people,” she’d said, “who are born with an ancient blood in them. It does not pass through generations like the blood of our ancestors does, but in the very veins of magic that connect us all.”

 

“Father says there’s no such thing as magic,” Haru had told her. She had smiled gently at him and continued on as if he never spoke.

 

“You see, Haru-kun, the moon calls to some in ways it does not call to others.”

 

Now that he was older, Haru wished he had paid more attention to his grandmother’s stories. He always did on nights like this.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sousuke-kun, are you sure about this?” Kou asked, handing him another blanket. Rin rolled his eyes at her, but Sousuke took it anyway with a mumbled word of thanks.

 

“Gou, we’ve been doing this every Cycle for years now,” he said.

 

“I know that, Onii-chan,” Kou snapped. She looked past Sousuke into the dark shed. “I just don’t feel right is all.” It was quiet for a moment.

 

“I’ll go get another jug of water,” Rin said, turning to go back into the house. Kou watched him go, then turned around and launched herself at Sousuke, hugging him tight around the waist.

 

“Gou? What’s wrong?” he asked, but he wrapped his arms around her in return.

 

“I just hate how much you blame yourself,” she whispered into his jacket. He stiffened, then held her tighter.

 

“You know how much I love the two of you,” he said softly. “You’re not just Rin’s little sister, you know.”

 

“I know,” she answered, pulling away. Sousuke dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

 

“I need a favor, and Rin absolutely cannot know about this,” he said, unlocking it and handing it to her. “I’ve been texting someone, and I don’t want to miss a day just because of the Cycle.” Kou gasped and thumbed at the phone ravenously.

 

“You’ve been texting Haruka-senpai?!” she squealed.

 

“Yes,” he said. “Just one, mind you. In the morning. And don’t give him any indication it’s me he’s been talking to, do you understand?” She grinned up at the threatening scowl on his face.

 

“Sousuke-kun, do you have a crush on Haruka-senpai?” Sousuke’s face turned red.

 

“It’s not really like that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that reminded her of Rin. “Do you remember when Rin first went away, and we had that conversation?”

 

“Oh, yes the  conversation, ” she teased. “I remember.”

 

“Shut up, Gou,” he snapped.

 

“Sorry,” she giggled. “But do you really think Haruka-senpai could-”

 

“I don’t know,” he said before she could finish her thought. “But something about him feels… right. I just don’t want to act too fast if I’m wrong.” He paused for a moment, looking toward the house. “That’s why I don’t want Rin to know, too.”

 

“I understand, Sousuke-kun,” she said, locking the phone and slipping it in her pocket. Just as Rin came walking up to them, she said, “By the way, do you still use Rin’s first crush as a password?” 

 

“I do indeed,” he answered over Rin’s indignant sputtering.

 

* * *

 

 

As night descended Haru found himself curling deeper into his tub. Makoto was sitting with his back propped against the side of the tub, a notebook on his knees. The restlessness which had plagued him the past several days had ramped up in intensity. He pulled himself out enough to put a hand on Makoto’s shoulder then sank the rest of his torso beneath the water. 

 

“Read to me,” he said softly, and Makoto complied.

 

Makoto had always been with him on nights like this. The sound of his voice was more comforting to Haru than that of his own mother, and unlike Haru’s mother, Makoto never asked anything of him. He was happy to just be there. 

 

“Do you remember what my grandma used to say about the moon?” he asked Makoto, who stopped in his reading without question.

 

“I think so,” Makoto said. “She used to tell me those stories when you were in a mood.”

 

“I didn’t have  moods, ” Haru huffed. Makoto chuckled.

 

“You have moods, Haru-chan,” Makoto insisted. “Anyway, when you were in one, it was usually near a full moon. I asked Obaa-chan about it once, and she told me that story. Why do you ask?” Haru shrugged.

 

“Something Rin said once,” he murmured. 

 

“Whatever you say, Haru-chan. If you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to.” Right as Makoto finished talking, Haru’s phone buzzed. “You have a text.” Makoto stared blankly at the device sitting on the counter. “You never get texts.”

 

“Someone keeps sending them to me,” Haru said. “I think they might be flirting with me.” Makoto thumbed Haru’s phone open to scroll through the messages.

 

“You think they’re flirting with you,” he said dryly. “You think.”

 

“Well, are they?” Haru leaned over the tub to look at Makoto.

 

“Yes, Haru-chan, they are,” he answered. “How have you not known this?” Haru shrugged and dipped back under the tub.

 

 

“Whatever,” he said. “Keep reading to me?” Makoto rolled his eyes and returned to his place against the tub.

 

* * *

 

 

Kou slipped out into the night once she was sure Rin was asleep in bed. The moon was bright overhead and the yard was silent as she made her way over to the shed. 

 

“Sousuke-kun?” she whispered, reaching out to touch the lock on the door. With her other hand she reached into her pocket for the key. As she pulled it out, a large hand wrapped around her wrist.

 

“Gou.” She whirled around to find Rin, standing close with his hair glinting silver in the moonlight.

 

“You scared me, Onii-chan!” she gasped, pulling her hand free. She moved toward the lock and he caught her again.

 

“Gou, don’t,” he whispered. 

 

“He’s not dangerous!” she huffed. “He’s  Sousuke-kun ! Your best friend! He would never hurt either of us.” Rin looked at her with a deadly seriousness in his eyes.

 

“You can’t know that, Gou.” He used the grip he had on her wrist to pull her close to his chest. “He would never forgive himself.”


	4. Chapter 4

6-18-15  
Astral Projections and Mutual Affection Chapter 4

Haru found himself one morning with a smile on his face as he thumbed his phone open to read the newest addition to his collection.

UNKNOWN: [Are you a lifeguard? Cause I’m drowning in your eyes.]

Haru closed his phone and set it on his bathroom counter before turning to his morning bath. A vague part of him wondered if he should be more concerned by the texts, but whoever was sending the anonymous flirtations had so far turned out to be harmless. Besides, he figured, worrying about things like that was Makoto’s job. Speaking of which, Makoto was late. Haru grumbled under his breath as he pulled himself out of the tub and slumped over to where his towel hung. He dried himself off and pulled on his jammers with the same disgruntlement, slumping down the stairs to wait on his front stoop for Makoto. 

Makoto came stumbling out of his house a few minutes later, looking sheepishly up at Haru. “Ah, you’re up,” he said. Haru blinked at him and stood, pulling his bag over his shoulder.

“We’re going to be late,” Haru said, passing Makoto and continuing down the stairs.

 

Rin was beginning to believe that life was finally settling back the way it was supposed to be. Sousuke hadn’t mentioned Haru in at least a week, he had actually passed the Japanese literature test he was worried about, and the most exciting thing to happen since he got back from his mother’s house was Momo hiding another bug in Ai’s pillow. Rin could almost allow himself to relax as he indulged in abusing his power as swim captain to enjoy a few hours alone in the pool. 

As he made the turn into his fourth length Rin closed his eyes and felt the pull in his muscles, the electricity of the water washing over him. He couldn’t help a small smile; the last time he had done this, Mikoshiba had been captain and Rin had been trying to outswim his own stilted emotions. Seijuurou had found him there and just sat on the pool’s edge until Rin had tired himself out. He hadn’t said much, just listened as all of Rin’s angst came spilling out in one massive atorrent. As he finished his lap, Rin swung himself up onto the concrete, the same place he had sat over a year before, and grinned. He looked out over the empty natatorium and felt, amazingly, content. He stretched his arms and sighed. He could swim six or seven more laps… or he could go back to the dorm and catch up on that series Gou had been insisting he had to watch. Remembering a time what that wouldn’t have even been a choice, he levered himself onto his feet and sauntered into the locker room.

“Good swim?” Sousuke asked when he came back into the dorm. Rin grinned and stretched his arms above his head, making his way toward his bunk with much more sway in his hips than necessary. Sousuke grabbed the pillow from under his head and used it to smack Rin. “Stop showing off, you peacock,” he grumbled.

“Aw, Sou, don’t be jealous,” Rin crooned. “I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll want you. There are plenty of dog people in the world after all.” That earned him another thwap with the pillow. He grinned up at Sousuke, only to find him grinning back.

“What about you?” he asked suddenly. “Are you and Tachibana…” Rin sputtered.

“Okay, first off, no. Second off, where is that even coming from?” he snapped.

“Not Tachibana, okay,” Sousuke continued, rolling onto his back. “Mikoshiba, then? The older one.”

“Ew. The man wears a speedo, Sou.”

“So that counts Momo out too, huh?”

“Yes, Momo is definitely out.”

Sousuke paused for a moment, stroking his chin in thought. “Hazuki?”

“That’s like saying Gou,” Rin shrieked. Sousuke laughed.

“Seriously, Rin,” he said. “Anyone?”

“Not really,” Rin answered. “Not right now, anyway. I’ve got the Olympics to think about, and I don’t want to put anyone through all the time I’m going to be gone the next couple of years.” He let himself fall into his desk chair and considered his roommate. “What brought this up, though?”

“Gou and I were talking earlier,” Sousuke answered. “About Nanase. She said she was worried that you might have feelings for him, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t crossing any lines.”

Rin made a face. “Are you still going on about Haru?” he groaned. Sousuke was quiet. Though it hurt to think about, Rin said in a softer voice, “So I guess that means you think he really-”

“I don’t know,” Sousuke interrupted, leaning over the bunk. “I just wanted to know that I wasn’t hurting you if he was.”

“If he is, it’s not something you can control, Sou,” Rin said. He sighed and looked up at the earnest expression on Sousuke’s face. “It’s like the Cycles, I guess. You don’t have a choice in who you fall in love with, and in your case you only get one shot. If Haru’s supposed to be your Mate or whatever, then I’ll learn to deal with it.”

“Rin, please, can you just tell me?” Sousuke prompted.

“No, Sousuke, I don’t have any feelings for Haru. Not anymore,” Rin answered. “Gou’s right, I had a crush on him when we were kids, but I don’t think we could make each other happy anymore. I guess I’m more worried about the two of you not being right for each other.” Sousuke was quiet. “If you want, I could talk to him about you. Not that,” he added quickly, seeing Sousuke’s suddenly frightened expression. “You can tell him that on your own time. But I could, I dunno, talk about you around him, or something.” Rin could feel his face turning bright red.

Sousuke smiled, all soft and familiar. “Thanks, Rin, but no. I wanna do this my own way.” Rin nodded and rolled to his feet.

“Alright,” he said, “your loss. If you don’t want help from Samezuka’s master seducer, I can’t make you. But don’t say I never offered you anything.” He dodged the pillow Sousuke threw at him with a laugh.

That night, when Sousuke had fallen asleep above him, Rin lay awake and wondered why he had ever thought things would be normal again. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Sousuke, or hated him for what he was, he just hated that Sousuke was what he was. It did nothing to lessen how much he cared about his best friend, but some days just thinking about the wolf was enough to make Rin’s skin crawl. He rolled over and ordered himself to go to sleep, and think on it another time.


	5. Chapter 5

Makoto wondered where the time had gone. It felt as though he had blinked and his third year was all but over.  
  
He and Haru had been officially retired from the swim club for two months now, though Haru still crashed most practices so he could get his daily water fix. College entrance exams were coming up soon, and Makoto was beginning to feel the pressure.   
  
"Haru," he groaned, letting his head fall into his English textbook, "can we stop now?"   
  
"What does this sentence say?" Haru asked. Makoto glanced up to see a line of alien symbols and shook his head. "Then no."   
  
"Haruuuu." Haru ignored him. Makoto let his head fall back down with a thump. "You used to love me," he whined.  
  
"I still love you," Haru said in his usual emotionless voice.   
  
"No you don't you hate me," Makoto argued.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I'm going to die alone and uneducated."  
  
"Have fun with that."  
  
Makoto scowled at his best friend, then fell onto his back, arms spread out to either side. "Can we at least take a break?" he goaded. Haru sighed heavily.  
  
"Fine," he said. "I'll make us some tea."  
  
"I can do it," Makoto offered.  
  
"No," Haru said immediately. "You stay out of my kitchen." Makoto pouted, but did as he was told. He looked up at the familiar ceiling of Haru's living room and bit back a sigh.  
  
"What's wrong." Haru asked without inflection. Makoto glanced up to see him peering around the door to the kitchen, and waved a lazy hand.  
  
"Nothing, Haru-chan," he said.  
  
"Makoto," Haru warned.  
  
"Just worried about next year," Makoto said dismissively. "Nothing major." Haru hummed. the house was quiet for a moment, then the kettle started whistling. Makoto listened to Haru setting up the tea tray and padding into the living room with it, sounds as familiar to him as his own heartbeat. He swung himself into an upright position and watched his best friend pour him a cup of tea.  
  
"I'm not leaving you," Haru said as he handed Makoto his cup.  
  
"i know that," Makoto answered. He looked down at his tea and sighed. "I guess I'm more worried about what's going to change about you. And about me. We're growing up, Haru-chan." Haru glared at him and he grinned. "Have you decided on a major?" Haru made a face.  
  
"My mom says culinary isn't a good enough choice," Haru grumbled.  
  
"When have you ever listened to your mom?" Makoto laughed. Haru shrugged.  
  
"If I don't get a scholarship, she's going to be paying for it," he said. Makoto rolled his eyes.  
  
"How many universities have scouted you?" Makoto prompted. "I know at least three of them have good culinary programs. Or you could go into art officially, and cook on the side."  
  
"If she won't support a culinary degree, there's no way she'll support an art degree," Haru said, sounding much too happy about the fact. Makoto shook his head fondly at him.  
  
"Just pick something," Makoto said. "You don't have to do it for the rest of your life, you know. Just like swimming, you can change your mind at any time." Haru said nothing, but the expression in his eyes was answer enough. "Anyway, we need to think about housing, too. And then there's transportation, both around town and back here, and food as well. I'm thinking about getting a job once classes end, but I don't know if I should wait until we're in Tokyo or-"  
  
"Makoto." Haru was looking at him with laughter in his eyes, enough to quiet all of Makoto's thoughts. "We still have exams," he said softly. /One thing at a time./ Makoto nodded, smiling at his friend.  
  
"You're right, Haru-chan," he said, pulling his English book closer. Haru smiled at him, a soft, barely-there thing, and turned back to his work as well.  
  
  
  
Rin wanted to pound his head against the wall. It had been bad enough watching the mopey looks on Sousuke's face and listen to the wistful sighs as he watched shitty dramas and read the romance novels that /were not Rin's/, but now Gou was in on it too.  
  
They were sitting side by side on the Matsuoka's living room couch, a blanket and a tub of ice cream shared between them as a rain-soaked protagonist professed his undying love to the cancer-patient love interest. Sousuke and Gou sighed and unison and Rin had had enough.  
  
"That's it," he said, standing and switching off the tv to an indignant chorus of "Rin!" and "Onii-chan!" He turned to face them with his hands on his hips. "You two have done nothing but watch those shitty movies since we got here. What is wrong with you?"   
  
"Onii-chan," Gou said softly, standing and taking a slow step toward him. "Step away from the tv."  
  
"Gou," Rin started, staring her down, "I'm supposed to be the sap here, and I can't stand this."  
  
"Onii-chan." Gou's voice had dropped to a growl and Rin broke out in a light sweat. "Step away from the tv."  
  
"Rin," Sousuke warned, "I would do what she says." It must have been Rin's imagination, but Sousuke sounded /scared/. Rin glanced at him, and then at Gou, who was getting closer. There was a light in her red eyes that was unfamiliar and, frankly, terrifying.  
  
"Gou," he said softly. "Come on, now, it's just a movie."  
  
"Onii-chan," Gou growled. Rin bolted.  
  
  
  
"Oh my god he actually ran," Sousuke howled, clutching his side as he laughed.  
  
"Did you see the look on his face?" Gou shrieked.  
  
"He thought you were going to kill him!" Sousuke wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and grinned at Gou. "Thanks," he said.  
  
"For what?" She asked, cocking her head.  
  
"He's been... hovering," Sousuke said. She watched as he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had clearly picked up from Rin. "Ever since last month he's been even more worried about me than usual." Gou sighed and moved to sit next to him.  
  
"Onii-chan just wants to help you," she said, placing a hand on his knee. He covered it with one of his own.  
  
"He can't," SOusuke said softly.  
  
"I know," she answered. "And he knows too. I thin that's what hurts him the most." Sousuke flinched beside her and she sighed. "Next year will be better," she offered.  
  
"He got his acceptance from Australia," he told her. She nodded.  
  
"He called me," she said. "Have you decided where you're going?"  
  
"I've got a few picked out," he answered. "I'm thinking sports med, or physical therapy." She smiled to herself. It fit, it really did.  
  
"Haruka-Senpai and Makoto-Senpai are both going to universities in Tokyo," she told him. "I think Makoto-Senpai said he was studying education, and Haruka-Senpai is studying art or something." She glanced up to see him smiling.  
  
"Makes sense," he said.  
  
"You should go too," she told him. His face grew pensive.  
  
"I think you're right," he said. Gou smiled and reached for the remote.  
  
"Come on," she said. "Now that the crybaby's gone we can watch that horror movie Nagisa lent me."

**Author's Note:**

> Find this and other atrocities at [](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com>Tumblr</a>)


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